Don't Read the Comments



Don't Feed the Troll

 For some reason, in the late 1990s someone thought it would be an excellent idea to allow the readers of internet articles to post comments. I recall many of the old line newspapers proclaiming that this interactive forum would encourage debate and strengthen democracy. Well it hasn't. As a matter of fact, it has become nothing more than a cesspool of vile, insipid fuckery populated by paid anonymous shills, trolls and other assorted mouth breathers. No matter the subject of the article, you can bet that some commenter will talk about Obama and his birth certificate or Socialism or other nonsense.

Is the article about Kim Kardashian? Then someone will comment on how Obama's policy towards Hollywood has allowed her ass to grow to enormous proportions.

Is it about flesh-eating zombies? Then someone will say that Obama eats the flesh of babies since he is a secret Mooslim and worships Lucifer.

No matter what the article is about, some dumbfuck will weigh in with a comment that rivals the inanity and non-sequiturs of Joe Biden. 

The bestest, most craziest motherfuckers of all are on the comments section over at Prison Planet. For those of you unfamiliar with that site and its owner Alex Jones, it's best described as a place where paranoid and delusional thinking are your ticket to entry.  You say you believe that the 1% are actually reptilian space aliens? Come on in.

Patron saint of dumbfucks

Or maybe you believe that the Jews/Freemasons/Illuminati/OpusDei are planning to depopulate the world and enslave the rest of us? Welcome.

Did you think the Olympic opening ceremony was an Illuminati-conceived spectacular to welcome the Babylon Child and an aeon of Luciferian slavery? They've got a place for you.

Prison Planet is a home for Preppers, Truthers, Birthers, Libertarians, Pro-lifers, Climate Skeptics, Pro-Gunners and just about every other paranoid faction you can think of. In their minds, Obama is evil, Spetznatz forces are setting the wildfires out west, the Pope is a Luciferian paedophile and anyone who disagrees with them is a Monarch programmed member of the Matrix. Ron Paul is a God and the Free Market is what God intended for us all to worship. It's a site that combines old-school Goldbug craziness with post-Nixon high-tech paranoia. Other sites like Lewrockwell.com and jeffrense.com spew a special type of weirdness obsessed with ridding America of the “State” and its coercive minions, but Prison Planet is conspiracy central. It’s a clearinghouse of all that is paranoid.

These sites are all cluttered with advertising for “natural” crap like vitamins and drinking water filters, colloidal silver and the ubiquitous dried food suppliers. They circulate “truths” about the effects of Aspartame, vaccines and GM food. They perpetuate myths around 9/11 and how it was a false flag operation designed to put America under control of the New World Order and the UN. .According to them, the Aurora shooter was obviously a Monarch slave programmed and deployed by the government as a reason to rescind the Second Amendment. Everyone on these sites is obviously a scholar of the Constitution and knows EXACTLY what this country’s founders wanted. Their comments prove it.

In the past, these knuckleheads would only be able to discuss their crazy views at the monthly gun show or in the halls of the American Legion. Nowadays, though they spend their time in the blue glow of the computer, concocting ever crazier theories about moon Nazis with bases under Antarctica. Secret alien rulers that persecute the greys, and ever morphing conspiracies involving the Pope, the Queen, the International Jew, reptilian aliens and Katy Perry. Their ranks are growing and the concept of discussion is being tainted by their views. The Tea Party itself is chock a block with these nouveau Know Nothings. They reject science and reason in favor of their own Volkish views and what fits their paranoid fantasies. Even in the face of facts they will claim that “those are your facts” in a fit of semantic ballet that would make Chomsky blush.

If you disagree, then you must be “asleep” or plugged in to the Matrix. Reason is a faculty you check at the door when you enter this rabbit hole, and once you’re in, it can be tough to get out. Over time you begin to think that there may be something to all this. Maybe the Bush family (known for being war profiteers) did cause 9/11. After all, wasn’t Bush the Elder complicit in the Iran contra deal? That was a conspiracy designed to circumvent Congressional rulings and US law. Conspiracies around highly placed Satanic paedophile rings don’t seem so weird when a place like Penn State covers up crimes.

It's all fun and games until someone loses a testicle

Hmmmmmmm

Maybe they are right, maybe I’m asleep.